Lawyer's Credo

–noun

1.	Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.

2.	gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

3.	the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.

Why is it that I need to explain the common sense rules of love and life to people that are more intelligent and mentally stable than I? I don't get it. I don't live by the rules, but I get them. It angers me that you people don't get it. I'm not smart. I don't make wise decisions but I can tell you that showing up on that "she's the one"'s doorstep drunk on a Wednesday night is not a good move.

Why do I need to tell you that purchasing sexual intercourse from a transsexual prostitute is against all religions and moral beliefs? Yes, it's appealing. Yes, I'd do it if I had a wiener. But I don't, so come on!

I have tons of not-good ideas if you want them and I promise they'll be more fun than getting your heart and ego stepped on or a raging case of herpes.

How about pretending that life is magical and we have special individual gifts and trying to capture and embrace those gifts to see where they take us? Doesn't that sound fun?

How about pretending that we're all part of a bigger entity and we should stop trying to degrade each other for our own perception of self worth? What if we try to improve the self worth of the greater entity? Doesn't that sound hip?

How about pretending that our lives are worth more than the daily input we provide to meaningless, greedy corporate continents that do far less for future well being than they do for the immediate CEO's bottom line? Doesn't that sound neato?

My two cents. They won't get you very far monetarily but I'd rather have two cents than a million dollars worth of asshole-ness to leave our future generations.

*I say that as I work day and night, weekend-long shifts, for Bank of America :)